The one for whom I compose this Song

A pinch of right and a pinch of wrong
Is the one for who I compose this song
He's bitter, He's sour
But maybe that's the flavors of his heart
He's dedicated, He's divine
But maybe its just his less known part
His journey is not this short; it is rather long
Of the one for who I compose this song
So much pain is in there
In the heart that he bears
Yet I see him smile
Even when nothing good he hears
Never had a friend, did he for very long
The one for who I compose this song
At times he can get greedy
Wanting more than he needs
Is it just his selfishness
Or more than it heeds
At times he is less right and more wrong
Is the one for who I compose this song
I can never decide
If he is naughty or nice
All I know is
I always pray for the better
Of the one for who I write this song!!!!

A letter for the departed ... HAIR

Disclaimer : I recently read an article on 'The Sneeze' blog which is similar in nature. It is the article that inspired me to do this one. However, I solemnly swear that this is not copied and that I am going through the pain that the author of that article had once undergone (I hope it worked out for him.).

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Dear Hair

Everyday you fall down and trust me, even though I never feel it on my skin, it pains my heart deeply to see you leave. I have never been good with goodbyes and so I never say a word but I expected you to know of the pain (especially since you have been a part of my body till a moment back). Or do you not even see the tear that seldom clouds my vision?
I love you, to the moon that is 14 billion light years away and beyond and back, yet, you dont seem to care at all. I bring all sorts of expensive hair care products for you - shampoos and conditioners and serums and oils. Do you know how much a decent shampoo costs these days? Yet, I never pay heed to the cost when it comes to you, my precious. I spend two evenings (minimum) a week, to oil you. And I dont just nourish you with one item throughout. I ensure that you get all the essential oils. I change the shampoos and conditioners the moment I realize that you dont like them. Still, you seem angry with me. Worst are the days when I take deep care of you, like applying curd. It stinks and I have to bear that smell. Then I think of all the moisture that you would be getting from that curd and I smile in all the odour. Yet, when I wash the curd off, more of you would fall. Maybe you dont like Curd, just like the rest of me, but what option do I have? How am I to bring moisture to my moistureless hair? (oops, did I say that out loud?)
I
 have spent hours and hours browsing through articles and videos on the internet, about how to take good care of you. I have taken advices from whoever seemed willing to share. I have even stopped envying long straight hair. Yes, I would love it if you were straight but as long as you dont fall off my scalp, the wavy you is no less. Even the tips that once worked for me, wouldnt work a second time.

What happened, love? What did I do wrong? Everytime I see a single strand leave me, I ask it - what happened suddenly? It had chosen to stick with me for so long, even when the others were leaving. What changed now? Why did you decide to leave? And yet, one after the other, you all decide to leave, never answering my questions or soothing my agony.
As I roll the departed bodies into a roll and throw you on the floor or into the bin, I wonder why would you choose that life? I mean, see when you are shiny and long and ON MY HEAD, people sneak glances at you and admire you. Once on the floor, you disgust others and once in the bin, no one really gives a damn. Yet, you choose that destiny more than being on my head. Now I understand, I havent exactly been the best partner of choice. I am careless and ignorant. I had wanted straight hair for long to have damaged you and in turn, made you the moisture-less and lusture-less versions of yourselves. But, I have changed. I dont experiment with heating equipments any more. The most I am willing to do is, apply a new shampoo/conditioner/oil. I dont even fight to keep you open any more. I braid you, try to keep you combed and tangle free at all times. I know its not a cent percent commitment but I am trying and you should consider it.

Apologies if it got dragged a little. I just couldnt keep it all in and had to tell you. Hope you will share your feelings with me too.

Love,
The scalp owner where you are always welcome to stay and flourish.
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Read the article on The Sneeze blog : An Open Letter to My Hair

Help will always be given at Hogwarts to those who ask for it

You know, there are these quotes from Harry Potter that have actually become so close to our heart. We know them like we know to breathe and they come to us as easy as breathing does. And yet sometimes these quotes are the ones that surprise us the most.

Some while back, I did a stupid mistake in office. And it would have had a huge impact. (God, even though my boss knows about this, please don't let him read this blogpost ever!!) Anyways, the moment I realized what I did (which was a moment after doing it)... I officially freaked out! I was so scared and my hands started to tremble.. even if I wanted to type, I couldn't get my hands to be steady.

Biggest of the issues was, Ram, one office colleague who knows everything and is the superman (he would prefer batman) who comes to rescue... was on leave. And not just leave... he was in a different continent altogether. But when I do something stupid, he always helps me and now he wasn't here only. Still as with my first instinct, I whatsapped him. I told him what I did and he was cool about it.

What I didn't realize till then was... while Ram was on leave... his friend had come and was sitting there on Ram's seat (beside me). While I was texting Ram and freaking out, he had taken the control over my system and set to work.. he was helping me without even being asked to. It was like he was God sent at that moment.
By the time I regained my senses... he had already done most of the damage control. He didn't even let me tell anyone to prevent me from getting scolded and then he was also going to do something more so that it doesn't even get detected...

When Ram returned... I was telling him about this incident.. and he just quoted the subject line to me... to be honest, I know this quote by heart but while all this happened,  I didn't even think of it for a moment... and here Ram knew I am a HP fan and he said it so simply that it sounded like the most obvious thing...

Funny na!! That day I felt a little closer to Harry Potter and thanks to someone who isn't as big a fan as I claim myself to be...

Miracle of the Day : October 26th, 2015

Tujh mein rab dikhta hai

yaara main kya karun ?

I have no idea whether I am really deep in admiration and love with you or I am reading and watching a lot of spiritual and religious things but according to something I read/saw, every human has a God within... and the ultimate height a human can reach is, finding that God in yourself as well as others.

Another thing before I write this blog, since I mending my fences with Lord Ram, I am reading/seeing a lot of information about him. I am really even admiring whatever new I learn. Recently, I learned that Lord Ram always had a smile on his face - a mild smile that was a reflection of him knowing everything... of him being like an Ocean, taking in everything, becoming greater with each drop and making the drop greater as well. There are still a lot of things about Lord Ram that I am yet to understand and even more that I am to know but this particular thing, touched my heart the most.

Today, something weird happened. I dont know if it happened or just some chemical locha in my head.

I was feeling angry on myself. I made a mistake and it was a carelessness than a mistake. Something that I could have easily avoided.

So now this guy, who I call Ram (I have blogged about him earlier)... decides to come and ask me what is the matter. To be quite honest, the way he asked today, he has never asked earlier... so it wasnt something that I expected. Also, lately, I have put him through a lot of things. I didnt even expect him to ask. But then, this is something that he has always done. No matter how much I hurt him or no matter how many problems he has of his own, he would always come to my rescue. I dont understand how he does that every single time, but he does. This is something that I always respected in him.

Well today, I was upset but while talking to me, there were so many times when he was laughing. I didnt even know why we were having the conversation. I was so deep in my own thoughts that I wasnt even listening to him completely. Whatever he was saying, I was just replying to it. I even asked him why are we having this conversation.

The moments that he was laughing, he was actually suppressing a laughter, which resulted in him smiling.

I dont know why, but everytime I saw him smile today, I swear I saw Lord Ram in him. It was my obsession with Lord Ram, me calling him Ram or some chemical locha in my brain, but it was not a momentary thing or a mirage to a distressed mind. I saw it everytime he smiled.

I do believe that God resides in all of us, maybe in him, it is Lord Ram. And it was so evident, that I was forced to bow my head to the mightiest of the rulers and the just most leader.

My Ram and Lord Ram

I dont know what I saw, but seeing God, not only made a human divine to me but also elevated me as a mere mortal. Seeing God doesnt happen everyday and certainly doesnt happen with everyone.

Thank You

Fairytale Come True

Fairytales don't always mean the princess and the Prince and their happily ever after. So don't expect that in this blog post. Fairytales are about believing. They are about selflessness. To keep others above you. To see the world as a beautiful place and to make the world a beautiful place.

Recently I have had my own miracle... but then you would think that if it is just a miracle, why isn't it in Miracle of the Day like all other miracles? Because the miracle is there in my life for sometime now and it won't just leave.
Before I say something more, let me tell you that I am a very difficult person to be with. There is no easy day with me. Everyday is a new story... a new challenge. Frankly, I have started liking life this way. This is much better than a dull and monotonous day.
So people who stick around... I know I should treasure always!! And I also know that it might be difficult for me but it is worse for them...

So well... here enters the protagonist... on whom this Blog post is based. Let's call him Ram, I like to call him that.

The first time I got to know that such a person existed was when I joined my first project in the company. It took like two weeks for anything to begin. I didn't have a system to work and every one was busy with theirs... And then the girl mentoring me asked me to call Ram as he comes in the noon shift and I could use his system in the mornings. I dialled, Ram didn't answer. Then she asked me to call another new joined to the project. He would usually use Ram's machine in his absence. I called the second guy and he picked up and told me the details.
But working for the first time was confusing... so I kept calling the second guy. After a while, Ram called and I told him the entire story. He sounded very serious and since then, I confess, I have been scared of him. Then I remember being so confused calling one by the name of another.

Well then our office building shifted. My number of days in the team grew. The second guy got his own system. So officially, I were to use Ram's system in his absence. Work was given to me and I became an alarm clock.
Every morning at 9, I would call Ram and speak the usual line "Good Morning Ram. Could you tell me your id." Well the id is something like otp that he would only have.
Initially, I remember, I would tell him the same thing over and over again... story that I don't have a system and I need to do this, so could I use your system...?... now, that I look to it... it was damn funny. Don't know his part of the story though.
Some days he would wait for me to repeat the whole story, greet me back and then give the id. Some days he would just say the id as soon as he picked the call. Most days were in between. Some days he would be awakened by my call. Everyday I would think over how he had responded. That became a part of my routine.

He would come for his noon shift, I would tell him what all I was doing. Usually, what I did was nothing compared to what he would do but yet, he would sit there with all the attention and listen.
Quite a few days he would come with this grim expression. He wouldn't talk to anyone and neither greet. Those were the days that made me run out of the seat at his mere sight.

Slowly, I came to talk to Ram. But thanks to his grim expressions, I was so scared to talk to him that I would hardly speak. I would ask questions by mere nodding, if that was possible.
But he knew everything! I even call him that now that I have started speaking in front of him. Anti(Jon Snow). Well this is a joke he would appreciate better.
So back to the topic that he knew everything. How can someone know everything? Initially, I was even convinced that he is a robot. Usually in that grim expression and knowing everything. It was difficult to believe him to be a mere mortal.
Back to... he knew everything. And the most amazing and at times irritating quality of his is that he would repeat the same thing a thousand times, with the same dedication and willingness and patience. He would help you a million times if you ask for it. Even if he is working, he would find all the time in the world to help you out and complete his work as well.
Okay... more of thisd topic later.

Then my mentor left. She went to onsite. There were all others who could help but no one would help the same way. So I started asking him. And he would help. Slowly, he would tell me other tasks too. He would ask my report. But during all this, I never stopped being scared. I was more scared of him than I was of my TL. But all in all, he is a good man. A wonderful person.
I used to joke that whenever anyone would have a question... people would call out to Ram like people call out to Spiderman.. Spiderman... Spiderman...  And Ram would go there whizzing invisible threads from his hand to help the damsel or dude in need.

Then something changed! We had to give weekend support. There were issues that I didn't understand and people who came with me, would neglect. So I would whatsapp Ram. All professional!

Then something more changed. One day after 12am.. he asked if he can call me...
Of course he can call me.. he is an electronics engineer, I am sure he knows how to call. Sorry, it was a feeble attempt at humour. But well, that was my thought then.
And there is another little thing that changed... he was missing having friends! Somehow I found that out. Sorry can't tell for if he ever read this blog post.. remember, I am scared!!

We started talking.. all rubbish! And he became a friend.
No matter how difficult the situation was... but the most difficult it became, stronger he held on. He wouldn't let me have a bad day. He would stand by all my week moments... maybe professional or personal. 

Sometimes, I really like to look back to how I actually met him and wouldnt believe it myself. Sometimes, I think for the two weeks that I was in the old office, I dont recall seeing him even once. And now, I need to see him once to know how he is or vice versa :P

 

I can't write them all. There are not enough words to tell how important he is for me.
But every time I think of this whole thing... all I can think of is

Updated :

I would dedicate a million songs... but there is just one line that I can think of whenever I think of this person...

"Meri nazar mei jadd gaya...

Rutbe mein wohh aur badh gaya!"

 

 Life is just so unpredictable.. we find the most important things when we are not even looking...

And when I think of him... I don't believe he is real. Someone so nice can't be real. I just know, I am blessed!

And I believe that he is too good to be human... he has to be my Fairy GodMother :)

Coolness Redefined

So I have this lady boss at work.. let's call her G.. for that is what I call her. Now, there are two reasons why I call her G..
1. Her name starts with the alphabet and her name is pretty long. G is short, simple, sweet and happening.
2. The happening part! She is really cool. I mean she has a small kid who she dotes on completely and yet, i havent seen any frekle on her face. She is always smiling. It's not that she doesn't get angry, she does. She even fights valiantly when she has a reason to.

She is a team lead and it is usually her team that gets the most work and also the work that no one has a clue about. As in New work. She talks about the new business requirements as if they are so obvious. Like she would have known forever that those would come. And the best past is, she doesn't rely on anyone for this. Even after being a team lead, she would sit beside a fresher like me and share my workload. And the knowledge and dedication that she shows in the process is worth millions.

Then like I mentioned, she has a small kid (around 2 years of age). Now kids that age require constant companionship of their mothers and yet I haven't seen her say no or hesitate if she has to put in extra time. Instead, even from home, she constantly keeps on call her team members to make them assured that even if she is not present, she is with them.
Even when her son was sick, she came to office because that was required of her.
After all this, the way she mentions her son or her husband or plans something with them, is just too adorable.

You know, they say that like a person is at one place, he will be the same at all places... as in our behaviour or our characteristics remain constant. So, after seeing her work, I know she is an equally dedicated homemaker.

To add to all this, she is always the first one to plan a party!

You must be thinking why this post suddenly... no I am not gonna show her or not trying to impress her... but I wish, after a few years, I have a passion like hers... for my work as well as family.

I wish after a long day at work, I plan party with family.

And I wish, no matter what life gets, I could always smile!!!

So, this one ma'am, is dedicated to you!!

Larger than Life

I am on way to my office. As usual there is a lot of traffic jam and as usual, I have headphones in my ears, listening to music and consumed in my own thoughts.
Few moments back, these thoughts meant big. I was thinking about what I lost and how hard it is to cope up.

While I was completely in submerged in another reality created by my own brain, an ambulance passed by the bus. Because there was the siren, I momentarily escaped my illusion and looked. It was an XUV... a Sumo kind of vehicle and inside there were army men. The vehicle had passed by till then but I kept staring from back, for as long as I could.
On the right, two army men were sitting with their arms crossed to their chest and on the left seat, there was a coffin and on top of it, flower rings of tricolor flowers.

Suddenly I feel so small. While, here I am not getting over a heartbreak, someone lost his life trying to protect my country and me. The other army men know that instead of this guy in the coffin, it could easily be one of them. Here I was complaining so much about things that are long gone, they were carrying a friend to his home. A friend they will never see again.
And just think how hard it would be to face the departed' family. My Eja left me of natural causes and yet it is hard for me to see her friends and cousins, all alive, knowing I won't be able to see my Eja ever again. Then the family... who will they blame?

I feel so small and that I complain about really petty things. I don't even know this guy or the thousands like him who serve at the border daily. So many of them risk their lives every second that we breathe. So many of them leave behind their loved one's so that we can all be at peace at night.

The only good thing that I felt was that it is noble of the Army and the country to see that these soldiers are sent in honor and pride on their last voyage...

Jai Hind.

Kyunki Maa Maa hona nahi chhod sakti ;)

Kuch dialogues miss ho gaye...

But on the whole....


Happy Mother's Day Amma ;)

Special Messages

Hi my Dearest Hair

First and foremost, I am seriously so happy that you have finally shown some love and stopped falling off at that awfully high pace. I have loved you since I have known myself and just see you leave was heart-breaking. However, even in what can only be called the worst of times, you didn't leave me just like that. I will not fail to mention that you had your successors replacing you, almost instantly. However, seeing you fall once was still very bad.
It took you some time but finally you did realize that on my head you were like a crown but down there, it was just plain dirt and filth.

Anyways, now that you have decided to stay, I am really happy. I just still have one little thing that hurts me so much... why won't you grow longer?
I mean, it's been so long that I am trying to grow you. Everytime I see that you have so big and so dreadful split-ends. I get you trimmed and then wait for a few weeks. You grow back to the same length and then you have that big and dreadful split-ends again.

I mean... common! What is wrong with you? Just a few more inches... that's all. And it's not like I am asking you for anything. Instead, I take such care of you and apply so many good things. Still, you do this to me.

So here, in front of the entire world, I am telling you how much you mean to me and I just want you to grow longer.

With Lots of Love,

Ps : In serious admiration of The Sneeze. So visit it, if you haven't so far.

Miracle of the Day : 14th February 2015 : #TheMoment

This is the first time that I am posting a 'Miracle of the Day' with a title. But actually the point is that when I was thinking about writing this particular memory in the blog, the name came to me instantly. So, here it is.

Also I dedicate this to someone... I dont know who but that is what makes the post even more interesting.

This is not a miracle of the time that I usually write about but actually it is a sweet memory that I shared with someone and I wanted to relish it forever, so I am posting it on my blog.

So, well, I was in Kochi for this Valentines Week, and on Valentines' Day, I visited Marine Drive with my parents. There is one Amul Ice Cream Parlor.

Guys/ Girls, if you visit Kochi... go to Marine Drive and do go to this Parlor (on the left). It is really nice.

Anyways, so I went because I wanted some milk shake but couldn't find any good place for a long time and I was really excited seeing this one. Therefore, I went inside and ordered one shake. Now I am not from Kerela so it was really difficult to understand their language. Ordering the milk shake was the easy part as I just had to read it from the menu card.
Well, everywhere it was written that it is self service. So when I saw the milk shake (ice cream shake :P) ready, I got up to take it but the owner asked me to keep sitting. And even though I was standing and away from the seat, he insisted on coming to the table and keeping the glass there.

When I finished, I was really confused about what to do with the glass.... I looked at the owner and he looked back at me and he was smiling. So I smiled back. For like ten seconds, we kept on staring at each other and smiling and then I left.

I mean it was really weird that the guy must be thinking that I am just staring at him and all I wanted to know was what to do with the glass :P. Whatever it was, I am glad to have a sweet memory.

And btw, because it was Valentines Day, the guy was little cute and that he had Corbin Bleu's hairstyle and his face resembled some person on English Television whose name I cant remember :P

Miracle of the Day : 25th December 2014

Christmas is really all about 'Miracles'! I have heard this alot of times... and somewhere deep down I do believe it but the truth is, today, I lived it!

I woke up in the morning to a friend's message. Well... you must be wondering what is the miracle here... So, the miracle is that this is a special friend. He is as wonderful person as you can ever find and yet, me, being a really stupid person, let him go. Indeed, I hurt him out of my life... but he is really sweet. For a couple of days, he is talking to me again... And I find myself really wanting much

more of it. Everytime I talk to him, I somehow want to talk everything... maybe to make up for the 2 months that I lost.
Anyways... waking up to his message was really amazing! Thank You for being my miracle Raspberry... ;)

So well... after that... the best Miracle thing was - I wore a rosary and swore the name of Allah during a puja that was conducted for me on Christmas! Hell... I loved it! No offense to anyone... but I seriously feel that movies like OMG and PK come.. people see them and praise them. They say they are so good movies and so correct too. But no one follows the message behind them. Eventually, these are just reduced to a credit for the actor.

Even for OMG, I used to follow it. It is we who created God. God never created the division. We divided ourselves and when we had no one to blame, we created God and blamed him that he sent me to this family!
Anyways... I guess I am going off topic. I really loved sitting there. I felt at peace.

Then... after like 4 months... I met my sister! She is like a soul mate to me. She understands me in all ways perfectly and it is like she accepts me and loves me for all my flaws. I am truly blessed to have met her. Well... the miracle here was, we are neighbors and yet, I met her after this long. And the moment she met me, she knew exactly what I needed to hear and tell her. And even though she is younger than me, she would scold me like she is so much more experienced. But you know, she is always correct... so whenever I need help - I go to her. Ananya - if you are reading it - you are awesome love. I am definitely blessed to have you. Stay that way :D

Then later in the evening... I talked to this friend I mentioned earlier. It was another miracle!

Also... another long lost friend contacted me.. and though I did not yet talk much to him... it is still a miracle :D I feel great!

Lastly.. I met so many relatives today. My cousins.. family!


Christmas is indeed magic!

I couldn't have imagined, how good my life would get, from the moment I met you.... ;)

This is a wonderful video from the show 'The Big Bang Theory' where, Howard (who is always shown to be someone as far away from commitment as can be) writes this song for his wife on their date anniversary.
This is the sweetest thing I have ever seen and it is very adorable.

Today, there is a friend who doubted whether if he is a good enough person and to him, I dedicate this. I couldn't have imagined how good my life would get... from the moment that I met you ;)

If I didn’t have you, life would be blue I’d be Doctor Who without the TARDIS A candle without a wick, a Watson without a Crick I’d be one of my outfits without a dick-ey

I’d be cheese without the mac, Steve Jobs without the Wozniak I’d be solving exponential equations that use bases not found on your calculator, making it much harder to crack

I’d be an atom without a bomb, a dot without the com And I’d probably still live with my mom (All, echo: And he’d probably still live with his mom)

Ever since I met you, you’ve turned my world around You’ve supported all my dreams and all my hopes You’re like Uranium-235 and I’m Uranium-238, Almost inseparable isotopes

I couldn’t have imagined how good my life would get From the moment that I met you, Bernadette

If I didn’t have you, life would be dreary I’d be string theory without any string I’d be binary code without a one, A cathode ray tube without an electron gun I’d be ‘Firefly’, ‘Buffy,’ and ‘Avengers’ without Joss Whedon I’d speak a lot more Klingon,
[Speaks Klingon] All: And he’d definitely still live with his mom

Ever since I met you, you’ve turned my world around You’re my best friend and my lover We’re like changing electric and magnetic fields; you can’t have one, without the other

I couldn’t have imagined how good my life would get From the moment that I met you, Bernadette

All: Oh, we couldn’t have imagined, how good our lives would get From the moment that we met you, Bernadette

YTS (Yatra Tatra Sarvatra)

Well… the title literally means 'everywhere - here, there and everywhere' but this is the nickname given by my friend and I, to someone. It might seem a little difficult to comprehend if you don't know me but if you do, you might already have guessed who this is! And if you are Sudheesh, DO NOT DARE TAG ANYONE!

Anyways… a really good friend once asked me about the nature of my relationship with this person. I have looked for the answer and even after weeks, I don’t have it. I doubt that even if I look for months, that I will find any.

I remember when I went to my college for the first time, I saw him come into the class. Maybe that was the first or the second day of our first year. He would talk animatedly. He had a very energetic personality, or so it seemed when I met him then. He was full of life and it was infectious. If he was happy, you couldn’t help smiling. There were times, later, when he was frustrated and you couldn’t help feel sorry. Well… for the first few days, he would come and we would play sorts of games. Speaking exercises, or so he called them.

Ps : I just had a thought…. If he ever finds this, I know he will get that it is about him and then, he will kill me! :P Still, a life not fully lived will not even get any peace after death… so I continue.

First awesome thing that he did for me was that I was emotionally upset and he kind of freaked out and left the room but he called in female teachers to have them talk to me.

First sweet smile that I shared with him was on 5th November 2010 when I wore really amazing jhumkis (earrings) to school and he was coming from across the corridor and he saw them, saw me, smiled at me, raised his hand to just below his ear and make a gesture to shake some imaginary earrings and then gestured mine to be nice.

First irritating moment was my classmates telling me that he called me 'Drama Queen' in front of people.

Worst memory… well he has done some real bad things to me but this one will always be the worst… I wanted the computer club and he said that it wasn’t mine. I know, you guys (readers) might make no sense of it. But I will keep going because I am writing it out of pure emotion.

Something I will always remember him for is boosting out in front of the college front gate that if I don’t get selected in a company, the company has some problem with its recruitment process.

Another really good thing that he did was announce I front of a lot of people wanting to get selected for something that I will play the part whereas I wasn’t even giving auditions.

You know… I have a lot of memories with this man. Some of them are bad and some are good. Quite honestly, I don’t like remembering the bad bits, leave alone write them.

Now… you must be thinking why am I writing this blog. I mean, it is not that I am ever going to link him or ask him to read it. Rather I am going to keep it hidden from him for as long as I can.

Well the reason is that I really cant understand this person. At a moment he is bitter and the next he is really sweet. There are a lot of things that he is defamed for or criticized about. Probably he is the only one in my college to be the target of students constantly. And I have seen him get upset but I have never seen him complain. Somewhere… I have never seen him have a friend. I see him having thousands of acquaintances but none he would call friend. This is maybe because people see his bad side very easily.

However… I dedicate this post to him because I have seen certain good in him. There is a secret of mine that he knows. Well… he doesn’t really know it but kind of something about it. And he should be frustrated about it. But I believe that since he has learned the secret, he is way too sweet with me. I have never felt so much bonded with him before that I feel now that I have left the college. Sometimes, its like I am just discovering it. And this is something big. That guy has actually abused in front of me… fought with me in front of my whole batch and teachers… never left a stone unturned to support me… made me a great chef… biggest of all, he is the only person who asked me about my personal choices when I needed someone to support me. Yet, never in all this, I had known him the way I am getting to know him now. And I believe, it is adorable.

I mean, we really live in an age where people spy on others… look out for other people's soft spots to attack… malign others… and there is this guy who knows my secret and is being a real gentleman. That’s I guess 'Being Humane'……..

Being Salman Khan

I just saw 'Kick' and before the movie review… I knew, that this post was due! Now, I have been meaning to

write this post for a really long time now but something came in the way.

Let me start from the beginning - I don’t know how but somehow, I really started liking Salman Khan and Salman Khan movies. But then came the horrible show Bigg Boss 7 and there I really hated the way he was partial and protective of Tanisha Mukherji and then I started hating him.

Anyways… since then, two of his movies have come out - Jai Ho and now, Kick.

I really can't say whether Salman Khan is nice or not but there is one thing that I know that a person who makes movies on such topics should be really nice or at least his thoughts or his conscious should be.

You know, once I talked to a counsellor for what I should be doing with my career and then he told me that if Amitabh Bachchan was to be a painter… maybe he wouldn’t be very good with the skills but because he is Amitabh Bachchan, he would nonetheless sell well.

Even now, I have moments when I want to do so much with just one life and I know that it is not possible to achieve everything… But then I look at this guy - Salman Khan. Maybe he too wanted to be more than an actor - a philanthropist, maybe. And he has found a wonderful way to be one. He doesn’t leave his job but that doesn’t stop him from making efforts to build a better society. And I find it very noble thing of him. I mean, maybe he is not doing everything from his own hands but he is doing something and not just sitting there and killing time and his potential.

As of now, I know that I might no longer be in love with the actor but there is some respect that I now have for him - for the not Human Being but someone who Be(ing)s Human!!

Miracle of the Day : 30th April 2014

I learned something very special today.

For quite a few days, I admit, I am being really bad. I have a very nice friend who got committed to again, a very dear person of mine. Somewhere, I was feeling a hole inside of me - kind of a hole that needed a person to fill. I was feeling envious of the happiness the two of them share. It isn't that I am upset of something but I was just wanting someone dear one too.

Anyways, though I was happy, the void existed.

Today, I met someone - Gaurav sir (name disguised so you won't identify it unless you are the person himself)… It is not that I met him for the first time but I did meet him after a LONG time. In this long time, there had been several things that I had been meaning to tell him… there were moments of anger… of frustration… of a little worry and most importantly… a lot of laughter and smiles from the memories of time before that.

I keep thinking to myself that it has just been 4 months since I have met Gaurav sir but in this little time, he has become someone really important to me - he affects my priorities and today itself, I found out - he affects my hunger… For he was here, I didn't take lunch and I didn't feel hungry at all!

I look back over these 4 months and I gather that there is if not much, but a significant age difference and yet, we have talked a lot. In all the talks that we have, I don't speak much… and mind you, I am a very talkative girl. I like to listen to him. Every minute that I sit beside him, I feel I have gained something that I didn't have before. Even when he is silent, I learn how to be such passionate about one's work.

I have learnt to have fun, to see life from a different perspective, faith, joy, passion for work and don’t know what else from that one person.

I would just say that he is one person I wouldn't ever want to lose contact with. And having said that, just to show some concern, I am also penning down a story inspired from him.

Today… like I mentioned, I met sir after a long time. It was definitely some great moments. But what was even special was a single moment when he said something - don't get your horses running ;)

I was just speaking on and on and mostly nonsense because I had to say sorry to him for something and I didn't know how to start the topic. Anyways, in nervousness, I kept speaking on and on. I kept complaining about some things but to be honest, those things never bother me, not anymore at least.

And then suddenly, sir said that it seemed to him that I was really angry.

Okay, I gather that this is nothing but to me, it is a lot.

There is someone I keep my ears on - yes ears! I am always there to listen to him speak and here, he listens to me and actually gives it a thought. I really felt amazing with that thought.

The amazing thing was - I felt really happy. For the rest of the evening, I have been laughing and dancing to myself. I really don't need anyone else. I am also feeling loved. Yes I know Gaurav sir is far from being someone special in that sense to me and he isn't. Very honestly, that void is there and it is only time that will fill it when the correct person comes. But from this incident, I realized that I need to love myself to feel loved and it doesn't matter how someone else sees me or for that matter, if someone else wouldn't see me at all.

You see, Love isn't only of the kind of having a boyfriend (or a girlfriend). Love is an expression of happiness… if you happy, you are in love - simple! And today, I have realized something really important - I am in love <3 p="">

Miracle of the Day : April 11, 2014

Now I am really not so sure about the date but this will be the one I would put my maximum bets upon. So well, while writing my last blog entry, I remembered one other incident with some other junior of mine that was similar. Initially I thought I could write it there only as a special note but then I thought, this incident is also special enough to have it's own special place.

There is a boy called Shashwat and he is really sweet. I have known him for a couple of months only. Though he is my junior but well, I am not a very good person at knowing too many people. Special point before we move forward - Shashwat is NOT either of the persons I have mentioned in my previous post.

Back to the story, Shashwat and I were arguing about something. It was something he wanted for me and I was wanting for him (or something similar) and then suddenly he said something I had no counter to. He said that if I wanted to fight, alright because he can fight with his elder sister, which I was.

I am often laughed at by my friends for making so many brothers, but something they don't realize is, God might have not given me a biological sibling, but he has created so many people around me who care for me, always look after me and in a sense have created this shield around me - a shield that protects me from anything bad or harmful.

Inside, all I need to do is be happy.

In disguise of my brothers, like Shashwat, I am indeed being blessed by God. I doubt if I could ever be thankful enough to him.

Thank you Lord and Thank You Shashwat. My journey in this college would never have had been complete if I hadn't met you. I am honored to have known you and I am blessed that you are a part of my life. Thank you, not only for being so kind - hearted and tolerant with me but also for filling my life with joys.

And yes, now you have made me your sister, you will never be allowed to break free :)

I can't help wonder and smile of how many ways, the good Lord decides to surprise you !!

Miracle of the Day : April 15, 2014

Though it is a public blog post, but in this, I am taking an opportunity to communicate to two people - very dear ones to me - who made my 15th April 2014, worth remembering, forever. This is something I want to share with the entire world…

Now well, a friend of mine has helped me put words to my habit - I am very surreptitious about my inner most feelings.... that is why when the two of you called, I couldn't reciprocate in the manner I should have. Rather, I have no idea how to reciprocate to something so sweet.

Anyways... well.. on the 15th... 2 of my juniors decided to get drunk. For the reasons obvious, I am not going to mention their names here... Anyways... So these two get drunk and they are roaming around the city and I don't know why but they decide to call me.

I didnot have the number saved but I answered. The one with the phone was still very decent to tell me who he was and then he said that he wanted to tell me 3 things... rather, the two of them together wanted to tell me 3 things..

1. they well hell drunk (though the second one kept objecting that he was sober)

2. they both respect me alot (and somewhere it was very important for the first one that the two of them spoke this simultaneously)

3. they were low on balance so they would have to cut the call

Okay... I really didn't know what to say and I don't even know it now... If I had to speak, trust me, I would still stand silent. But well... maybe an engineer by qualification, I am an author by choice... so i thought I might use my words to show some gratitude.

To the both of you,

you are both really very special to me. I know it has been a very little time since we have known each other but trust me, if I were to leave this college without knowing you, I would have missed the most important thing. I really respect the two of you as people, admire you as able, learned men and care for you as I would for my own family. I want only the best for the two of you, no matter what so ever may come. And I can assure you that anytime you need me, I am just a phone call away...

Your gesture to think of me at a moment like that and to say something so sweet - I am touched. I am deeply touched and probably when the moment I die, when my life would play in front of my eyes as a river of memories, I am going to hear your voices and the words you spoke to me then.

Thank You... not only for being the best juniors I could possibly imagine but thank you, for being a part of my life and making it so much more beautiful........

I went for a stroll a little while after the call and I met the other guy (who claimed to be sober) and by God, he looked like a one year old kid then - though by age he is a few months elder to me, but he looked just to little, so naive.. so innocent that all I could do was laugh. And since then, every time he is seeing me - he is saying sorry for something only known to him.

So to him, and to the other one,

I don't encourage drinking and I seriously think you need to stay away from it but nonetheless, I don't judge people for they drink. Try to deal with things - especially tiredness, some other way but it was cool. so, Peace Out.

It is simply beautiful... everytime there is a tear drop in my eye, I wonder if I doing fine for if I am, why is there this tear drop? On moments like the ones I mentioned above, I just look up, smile towards the Lord and thank him. At the same time, I am also amused by how he works in many mysterious ways.

If I were to lose all my five senses, except one, which one would I choose and why?

Okay… I know that I don’t really blog such kind of things and this would be my first attempt but this was the topic given to me at the Just-A-Minute competition conducted at my college during our annual fest this year. First of all, I take this big platform to thank Hemanshu Joshi… who not only convinced me to take part but is a very nice person to know and a wonderful secretary. I am glad that the committee came to you and Arun, of course, who is equally a gem! Thank you guys! :)

Now….

If I were to lose all my five senses, but one, I would choose to keep my eye sight. Quite honestly, I feel my eyes are really pretty and I would never want to lose them. Furthermore,

"All things bright and Beautiful

All creatures great and small

All things wise and wonderful…

The good Lord made them all!"

The God has created a wonderful and beautiful world for us. I don't want to lose my eyes and miss any part of this mystical creation of the Lords'. I also plan to donate my eyes after I leave, so someone else could have my pretty eyes and also see this wonderful world.

Moving ahead… I may not be able to touch someone but I can see them in front of me. I guess that is sufficient. I already know the fire would burn me, I can see a fire and judge that. I don't need to burn myself each time.

I may not be able to talk to you but you can always write to me and if I can see, I can read what you want to tell me. Also, I might not be able to talk to you but I can write back (but hey, speaking is not in the five senses, is it?) and then you can read what I want to say to you.

I may not be able to hear your voice and figure out how you feel but I can always see you smile or frown and act accordingly. Voice can be manipulated but your expressions cannot be.

I may not be able to taste something and tell how it is but I can see the colour and have a fairly good idea of how it would be tasting. I can see the look on the face of someone smelling it and figure out if they like it… I can see how you look when you taste it and know if you like it or not.

Now, I don't say that the other senses are replaceable… It is just a simple perspective, which btw, won me the first position. So just thought I would share!!

Kind over Matter : Josh Radnor

I am totally in awe reading what Josh Radnor thinks and what he has to say!
In case you don't know - Josh is famously known as Ted Moseby of How I met you Mother! And since I have seen the 22nd episode of the final season, I just cannot stop falling in love more and more with the character. Wait...but if you read this article, you would know when I say - I love Josh more!!

Full Article : Kind Over Matter : Josh Radnor

Comedy Nights - NOT so much comedy!!

Foremost, no offence to any of the Comedy Nights fans or to the 'Indian of the Year' - Mr. Kapil Sharma (definitely, the comic legend of the country). I, myself, is an avid fan of the show and havent missed a single episode of the show.

Let me first start with telling how much I adore Kapil and his comic skills - Kapil, a simple person from a very simple family, to being the most loved man of the country, Kapil has set new standards for comedy, as well as for Indian Television. He has redefined the term 'entertainer'. I don’t really know much details about the man but from the big highlights of his story, I can tell that Kapil Sharma is a very nice man. Also, a person who makes so many people laugh, definitely has a heart of gold.
Moreover, when we talk of Kapil, we can never forget the other actors on the show - Ali, Upasana, Sumona, Kiku and Sidhu sir (also the other recurring actors… especial mentions Sunil Grover). I agree Kapil does a wonderful solo, but the show would never be what it is, without the skills and support of these fabulous actors and performers. A thing that I would say for all of these people - they were always so talented and fine, it just takes the correct platform to judge a person's worth! Hats off to the entire team!

Now, getting a little more to the topic. I am just writing about something that is much talked these days about the show. Yes, Kapil's show is really wonderful to watch and it is very much entertaining but at times, Kapil takes some sensitive issues and stretches them more than acceptable.
For instance, Sumona is a wonderful actress and probably the only (to come to Comedy Circus) who complemented and supported Kapil. There were several others partnered with him but none could stand upto his standards. Individually as well, Sumona has proven her calibre in Bade Acche Lagte Hain and if it wasnt true, I doubt we would have seen the lovely actress in Barfi movie. Now, yes, I do understand that the format of the show is 'Comedy' but it is necessary to insult her beyond measure? At times Kapil keeps going on and on about her looks (especially her lips). I mean common, she is a very beautiful person, both inside and outside, for she stands so much. Any other girl if commented like she is, wouldnt stand there at all. I mean, I know she is part of the team and she does it just for the humour quotient, but dude, Sumona jokes especially on her lips are nothing funny any more. Everytime Kapil says them, he has a constant expression and she gives his the same expression and the viewers, even we have started to give the same expression. And trust me, the expression is nothing telling that we enjoy it!!

Secondly, this is a personal opinion - Kapil PLEASE dont make fun of Sumona's parents. I know when you say anything, your intention is NOT to insult anyone, especially Sumona - the actress or her family. These jokes are from a fictional character Bittu to his wife, again fictional. But dude, NOT COOL! On National Television, especially on a show that is seen by millions of viewers, in the country and abroad, you shouldnt show to disrespect your in-laws. Think about it - there is a reason there was a ban on showing smoking scenes in movies - there is a reason we have censor board - the audiences look upto actors and follow what is shown, without even thinking that its the character that they are following. When you show such scenes, think about it, there are very small children viewing the show and this is something you want them to see and learn? I am not pointing this to Kapil, the production house or the channel, but this is to the general public of this country - guys, a girl leaves her family and comes to yours. She calls and treats your parents as her own. She takes care of you and all your likes/ dislikes as her owns. And what you do? You abuse her? You call her family names? That's very manly and brave like, NOT! Therefore, Kapil, I know you are a very nice person, please fight against such a thinking instead of encouraging it or spreading it.

There are other, a few minor issues - like you really insult audiences if you want to. Dude, I know they enjoy it and most people who stand must have agreed for whatever happens, but it doesnt look good. And when you overdo it, it hampers your own image and reputation.
Moreover, what is a more pressing this, is that how you comment on issues. I remember a girl telling you that dont you go as guests to anyone's house when you commented on the habits of guests. That is what I am meaning dude. Again, NOT COOL!

Maybe after reading this article, you might be thinking that one by one, I have listed everything humour - worthy on the show and this would just leave a plain boring show. But hurting someone's feelings or insulting them, ofcourse unintentionally, is nothing better either.
I really look upto you Kapil, more as a good person than a fine actor. And this is the only reason that I thought this article is in order. I am writing this more as a well-wisher than a fan! Ofcourse I understand that 'One's comedy is other's tragedy' but I also believe that Kapil Sharma has the standards to match the best comedians of all times. He is of the level of Umar Shariff, Charlie Chaplin, Jonny Lever and many more great legends and that he doesnt need a point to make humour!
Dont let my believe shaken, dear!

I would just conclude with saying, that Kapil, you are doing an amazing job! Totally remarkable! When everyone today is in a way or other, hurting someone, you are bringing smiles to the public. Thank You. God Bless You.