Urmila's Enchantment

My father wanted a son, someone who could be the King of Mithila when the time comes. Yet when I was born, he couldnt be more proud. Sage Narada had visited our kingdom shortly before my birth. He predicted that my sister Sita and I, will be instrumental to the unevitable dharm yudh to come. Our lives will be filled with challenges and our choices will impact the course of future. Scared that both his children will have to suffer and face difficulties, our mother prayed to the Sage to bless her children with some comfort. Though he couldn’t change destiny, he was moved by our mothers love. He said, as often our father quoted to me, 'I cannot change the destiny, but I bless your unborn child not to suffer during the tough times.' When I was born, my mother tells me that I smiled at her. She named me Urmila, meaning 'The Enchantress'.

Inspite of our mother's futile attempts, our father ensured that Sita and I receive the best education in finance, philosphy and warfare other than our regular education of science and scriptures. In all the spare moments that our mother could steal us from our trainings, she tried to give us a life a princess should have. As we grew older, our trainings became harder and longer. Father would send us with nobles to other kingdoms to understand their policies, with saints to gain deeper understanding of ourselves and the world, with army men to train us for combat and wars , and he took us himself to meet the people of our kingdom to understand our people and help them overcome those.

I grew up with Sita, Madhavi and Shrutakirti. Madhavi and Shrutakirti were our uncle's daughters who was the king of the neighbouring kingdom. We were all trained and educated together. Some of the trainings were very hard, but having such lovely sisters, made up for everything. We were together all the time - we attended trainings together and visited each other very frequently. It was all going well until Sage Narada visited our kingdom, again.

Lord ParshuRama had organized a yagna at a place near our Kingdom. Sage Narada, the sage with the highest honor amongst all sages - to be free to roam all the worlds and visit the Gods, attended the yagna. Impressed with his contributions towards the yagna, Lord ParshuRama presented Sage Narada with the holy Shiv Dhanush, a cross bow that he had won from the almighty Lord Shiva. On his journey back, sage Narada decided to take a tour of the nearby lands, disguised as a lonely farmer looking for a new land to relocate to. On the outskirts of our kingdom, he was attacked by some bandits. Scared that these bandits would discover the Shiva-Dhanush, sage Narada tried to engage them with his wits. At the same time, as Lords had destined it, Sita and I were returning from our visit to Madhavi and Shrutakirti. We saw as five bandits with swords had cornered a lonely person with no means to help himself. Without a second thought, I jumped off my horse and took my sword in hand. Sita too had her sword drawn and was charging at the bandits. In a matter of minutes, the bandits were disarmed and tied up. Oblivious to his true identity, we invited sage Narada to travel with us to our kingdom where he could take shelter.

On the way, Sita and I were discussing the new trainings that we took with Madhavi and Shrutakirti. While we were discussing, the disguised sage spoke 'You princesses are well read for your age, your highnesses. You seem to have taken a leaf or two from the scriptures of Lord Shiva.'

That didnt sound like some farmer's word. None but only the enlightened spoke of Lord Shiva's scriptures. 'You dont sound like a farmer. Who are you? Reveal yourself.' I commanded. At the same time Sita had drawn her sword and was holding it against his chest. The soldiers had already surrounded him. The farmer spoke no more and smiled as the soldiers took him captive along with the bandits.

When Sita and I reached the palace, our father came rushing out to greet us. Instead of blessing us as he always did whenever we returned from a visit elsewhere, he rushed pass us, to the tied farmer. He kneeled before the farmer and apologized. Suddenly we were standing in front of a sage who was radiating knowledge more than anyone we had ever met, sage Narada. We knelt in front of him and begged him to forgive us for our ignorance. We requested him to accept our hospitality for few days and he heartily agreed.

Later that evening, sage Narada demanded an audience with our parents, alone. Next morning, he blessed us all and left.

My father, though an able King, was a father. His heart ached for the life that I was moving towards. One day, he took me to the treasury and showed a magnificent bow. It was the Shiv-Dhanush. My father announced that he was organizing a swayamwar for Sita, the only hope to make allies with a larger kingdom to ensure safety of our people.

Chariots started coming in from all directions. As the date of the swayamvar approached, Mithila turned to a host for nobles and royalties of various kingdoms. I didnt understand the idea of marrying my sister without her choice but I knew better than to say. On our mother's orders, we left for the Lordess Gauri temple at the palace gardens to pray. On entering the gardens, we saw sage Vishwamitra along with his two disciples. The young men settled the sage under a tree and came into the garden. From their mannerisms, they had to be princes. One of them had the built of a warrior. He stood with poise and a sparkle in his eyes. Somehow even long after we left, I couldnt forget the sparkle.

The next day, prince Rama of Ayodhya, the other disciple of sage Vishwamitra, known for his kindness and valour, won the swayamvar. This made the other prince to be prince Lakshmana, the mighty warrior with a sparkle in his eyes. Soon King Dashrath, King and ruler of the mighty Ayodhaya, his Queens and the other Princes arrived in Mithila to cater to the holy matrimony. Sage Vashishta and sage Vishwamitra, who had agreed to grace the matrimony, suggested that it was unwise to separate the four sisters. Before long I found myself standing in front of the holy fire with prince Lakshmana. In the blue dhoti with a golden border and a golden angvastram, he stood before me. I had heard of his bravery but none had ever mentioned how beautiful his smile was, or how enchanting the sparkle of his eyes was.

The entire kingdom was celebrating the matrimonies. The celebration seemed endless. Lakshmana was a wonderful person. He was a man of few words. We didnt spend much time together but, he treated me with love, care and respect. On our first evening in the palace, Lakshmana told me that he held his mother, father, brothers in high esteem. Their happiness meant everything for him. From this day forth, my happiness would also be equally important for him.

The honestly and love of his soul sparkled through his eyes. My happiness knew no bound. It was all like a dream.

It took less than two sunsets for my blissful dreams to turn into nightmares. When King Dashrath announced coronation of prince Rama as the new King of Ayodhaya, Queen Kekaiyi became upset. She demanded two boons from the King which he had promised. The first boon was coronation of prince Bharat as the new King. The second boon was exile to prince Rama for fourteen years.

All the happiness melted away from the castle and the darkness set in. When Lakshmana heard the news, he overcame with rage.

He was angry at the turn of events. 'How could anyone in their right mind think of exile for Rama?' he asked.I put a hand on his shoulder, 'It is just fourteen years. When he comes back, King Rama will ascend the throne that is rightfully his.' Suddenly, the expression on Lakshmana's face changed. He sat me down and told me that he needs to go with prince Rama. The brothers had always been together. I smiled at Lakshmana and started bringing clothes to pack. Lakshmana held my hand and stopped me. He told me that I couldnt accompany him. I was a princess and that life that he was going to lead was not suited for me. I protested that Sita is going. A wife had no reason to be in the palace if her husband was going to live in the jungle. That life was also not suited for me. I couldnt believe my ears. He was not understanding. I protested again 'Lakshmana listen...' but he cut me in between. 'Take care of everyone' he said and left.

I sat in my chambers, weeping, unable to believe that this was really happening. In one day my husband and my sister, people I loved the most, were going away for fourteen years. I heard the chariot come to take them. I rushed to the balcony to have a last image of Lakshmana before he left. He was no longer wearing his robes worthy of a prince but dressed like a sage. Once on the chariot that would take them to the boundary, he looked up. There was no sparkle in his eyes. I couldnt hold back the tears. I couldnt see him leave or believe that he didnt take me. I cried as the chariot slowly moved out of the sight.

The chariot wouldnt have even made to the boundary but the distance took King Dashrath's life. Immediate news was sent to prince Bharat and prince Shatrughana. Messengers were also send to find prince Rama and prince Lakshmana.

The palace that stood high like the Sun at sunrise, was sunken into death and despair by the sunset. Darkness engulfed the Suryavanshi Palace.

Deep inside I felt that Lakshmana would return soon. The chariot that they had ridden, had not returned yet nor had the messenger. It was getting late enough to be worried. I once again stepped into the balcony and looked down. Except for a drenched street dog that was lying down miserably near the gate, there was not a soul to be seen anywhere. Rain water had puddled under the lamp post. A breeze ruffled the mango tree in the courtyard and a few twigs fell down and broke. Thunder rumbled in the distance. Did I hear a soft knock at the door? I turned back and saw a Goddess standing in the middle of my chamber. I knelt down in front of her to pay my respects. She smiled and introduced herself as Goddess Nidra - the sleep Goddess. She said that it is customary for a human to sleep. Lakshmana had taken a vow to his mother before leaving that he would protect his brother and sister-in-law at day and guard them at night. When he refused to sleep, she was forced to visit him. Seeing his devotion towards his brother and towards his vow, Goddess Nidra offered him an exchange - if another human took his share of sleep for next fourteen years, he could fulfill his vow.

I couldnt believe this was happening. Goddess Nidra came to me and said 'Your sacrifice will be of utmost importance to your husband, child. It would be like a bad dream. When you wake, he would be in front of you.' 'I would happily sleep for eternity if it helps my husband. That is the least I could do for him. I am just upset that if any news comes of him, I wouldnt get it. I wouldnt know what is happening with him' I replied. The Goddess smiled and placed a hand on my head. She was overwhelmed by my love for my husband even when he hurt me. She said that she will put me under an enchanted sleep, where I will be able to see him everytime he would think of me.

I dont know I was asleep and I dreamt of Goddess Nidra or I slept as soon as she put me under enchantment, but I slept.

My sleep was mostly an undisturbed one. I had no way of knowing where he was or how much time had passed. I was somehow aware of time passing but there was no way to track it. I seldom saw Lakshmana. Once I saw him by a river, picking fruits. The other time I saw him sitting next to Sita as she told him tales from our childhood. It was like being plunged into a vast emptiness with just his memories as the source of comfort. Everytime I saw him, I grew more worried. His limbs had deep cuts and there were always new wounds on his torso whenever I saw him. However these images were only flashes. Sometimes I would ponder if he only remembered me in flashes.

My first long vision of Lakshmana came quite late. I saw him on a battle-field. He had a lot of cuts on his body and a particular nasty cut on his arm was bleeding. Suddenly I noticed that snakes appeared to be coiling him from underneath. Before he could react, his bow fell down from his hand and he fell unconcious. I saw an army of mighty apes come and lift him and take him to shelter. He had turned pale and looked unmovable. Prince Rama lay next to him, also coiled by snakes. I shouted as loud as possible but no one heard me. After what seemed like hours, the mightiest of the apes known as Hanuman, brought help. I kept praying to Lord Shiva to protect my prince. In couple of minutes, as Lakshmana gained conscious, I drifted back into the darkness.

The second time when I found myself in the battle-field again, things had become uglier than before. Just then something blinding and loud as Lord Indra's thunder struck Lakshmana and he fell on the ground. On the other end of the battle-field I could hear the demons making scary noises. Prince Rama took Lakshmana in his arms. Once again the mighty Hanuman came to the rescue. He brought a doctor from the enemy city who asked for herbs which only grew in the northern ranges. Without a moments delay, Hanuman flew into the air and headed north. I paced nervously around. Lakshmana was turning white. Suddenly this enchanted sleep started feeling like a nightmare. When Hanuman returned, everyone was praying for Lakshmana's speedy recovery Once again, as he got up, his image faded into darkness.

I dont know how long I slept but till now I prayed that I could see him. However seeing him injured and not being able to even touch him was a curse. I prayed that I dont see him unless he returned.

My heard was heavy and spinning. It felt like a really bad dream when I woke up. Madhavi and Shrutakirti were waiting by my bedside. The moment I opened my eyes, they each hugged me and said that the war was over. King Rama, Queen Sita and prince Lakshmana were coming back. I looked at my sisters. They had grown old. I didnt know how long I slept but I could see how long they had suffered. Madhavi kept filling me in with the things I had missed. I listened half heartedly.

I went and started tiding my chambers. The inkpot which was open fourteen years ago was still open. All the ink had dried. The clothes I had taken out to be packed were stacked on a chair. I looked into the mirror, an old lady stared back. The princess worthy of those clothes was no where to be found. I kept going into the balcony looking for the chariot that had still not come back.

It felt like forever when someone finally announced that a pushpak vimaan was headed towards the palace.

I rushed outside the Palace to where the vimaan would land. I could see King Rama and Sita being seated. Lakshmana was standing by King Rama's side. He wore the same clothes as he did when I had last seen him. There were a few cuts on his limbs, scars that a victor wore with pride. I had waited for fourteen years to have a glimpse of my prince. When he got down, he took blessings from all the Queens and sage Vashishtha. Slowly, in what seemed like eternity, he walked over to me. There were no words with either of us for each other. I could see his face had grown rugged. It dawned on me that I was married to Lakshmana for more than fourteen years, yet, he is still a stranger to me. The eyes that waited for him for fourteen years, didnt seem to recognize him. I had forgotten how his voice sounded.

He bent his head lower and said that he was worried about my well bring. There were unknown threats and dangers in the forest. If I had accompanied them, he would always worry about my well-being and also would be guilty of making me go through all that. He worried that while he swore his duty to serve and protect prince Rama and princess Sita, he would not do justice to me.

I stood before a person I respected but I don’t know if he would understand what I went through. I don’t know how to deal with the years we have lost. As a wife, I follow him into the castle. As a woman, I still weep.