It was weird today. In the morning, I had no idea what to wear. I decided to wear a chudidaar-salwaar-kameez. The problem was still not solved. I still had many options to choose from - from different designs to different colors. The dilemma was there because I had two dresses in mind and I wanted wear them both on Thursday. So, for an ordinary Tuesday, I couldn't fix my mind on anything.
Finally, after good five minutes of thought process, which is like an hour for me, I decided on a yellow suit. Now there were three reasons for choosing this suit -
Firstly, yesterday (Monday) was a really dear friend's birthday. We met during our training program and there we celebrated my birthday. This yellow suit was the same I wore on my birthday then. Not compulsorily but I try to wear this yellow suit for most of the birthdays of my friends from the training. It was only my birthday that we celebrated together. Wearing the suit, brings some nostalgia.
Secondly, the suit is kind of cool around the neckline. I really like the suit for that. Also, I did a little eye liner and earrings to complement the suit.
Finally, the most important thing - I hate yellow. Primarily, I hate it because my mother made me fast on Thursday's and till the count of fasts didn't finish, I had to eat yellow and wear yellow and put a yellow paste on forehead and even bath with yellow water. All in all, I am saturated with the color. This color, as I said, is considered lucky to be worn on Thursday's. So, I try never to wear it then. I wore the suit today as last Thursday or the one before that, I wore the suit and there was another guy who wore a yellow shirt. I didn't appreciate the color coordination then. I certainly didn't want it to happen again. Hence, Tuesday was a safe day to wear yellow.
I was at my desk when that guy walked in the office. He was wearing yellow. So much thought process, for nothing!!
Later today, I went to the cafeteria with a friend. I was speaking to the friend whose birthday it was. The other friend who was there with me, was looking at the menu for options. I turn around simply speaking on call when I see the guy in yellow, sit alone there, watching tele and eating something. As a well practiced habit, I turned away instantly but I couldn't help register the thing in my mind. I spoke to my friend on call and then to the friend I was with and then to the other friend who joined us later... I spoke to all of them happily but I couldn't get the image out of my mind. We crossed paths a few times in like five minutes but even now, hours after, I am still standing there - by the counter and the guy in yellow shirt is sitting there.
Somewhere I want to see myself walking upto the guy in yellow shirt sitting alone, sit beside him, maybe let out everything if I can but that doesn't happen. I am so well trained now to ignore that I don't walk there. Indeed, I just feel sad. I don't feel like walking to him for any purpose.
Surprisingly, I avoided yellow specifically for the third reason... And yet, the third reason sat there, becoming very prominent, registering clear in my mind, maybe wearing yellow for the same reason that I did.