The Sunset

Looking out of the window, I look as the rooftops bath in a deep golden shade of the setting Sun. The rays reflected by the glass on the other windows and on the tiny cars scurrying the road beneath, is making anything else, hard to see. The trees are silent as though absorbing the maximum sunlight before being engulfed by the dark night. Even though I get to see this view frequently, it has still never failed to amaze me. I can't help winder how perfectly and beautifully our world has been architected. How the rays know exactly where to fall and which angle to make at the exact moment, so as to present such a breathtaking view.
Though it leaves me astounded, hungry to to seek more of nature's surreal self, the sunset on a winter's day often unsettles hearts and fills it with longing and despair. Without a portent, just like the many others, I fall victim to the weather. My heart feels dense as my breathing gets slower than usual. Before I know my mind is submerged in my deepest darkest secrets, into depths of guilt and sorrow. The impish sparkle of the eyes gets replaced with thick tears of ache as the mind ruminates on what could have been done differently. Was it the lack of acquitted on my part? Should I have adopted more unctuous ways? Was the efficacy of my thoughts and actions not strong enough to produce benign results? A tap on the shoulder by a friend transports me back to the present. It however, didn't help myself feeling peckish.
With a last look at the now dark sky, I turn away with a sign and settle at my desk. Looking around, I find tenuous resemblance to the world I had just been plunged out of. The physical location might have been known yet it sas devoid of the people, emotions, incidents and virulent experiences. Slowly, my head began to feel clear and my heart light.
I looked again at the window. My own reflection stared back at me from the dark nothing beyond. The darkness brought me to face my true loses.
I didn't feel the pain or the misery that the memories had inflicted. The ignoble liniency on my part to let them inflict the misery is what hit worse. I couldn't blame the darkness to engulf the picturesque sunset. The people in my past didn't inflict any pain today. It was I. I chose the pain over beauty, the past over the present, the thick tears over the impish sparkle and the horrors over the joy.

No. I am no counsellor or anyone similar to tell you to live the moment. Instead, I tell you that when something happens to you, something to cause pain, feel the pain. Accept it out loud that you are wounded. For acceptance is always the first step to solve any problem. However, don't go on living it. Heartaches, sadness, pain and grief will all be there. And when they occur, we must mourn them. However, the only good thing about them is that no loss is big enough to stop life or to stop time. Today, all the events once strong enough to shatter me are just mere fragments of time gone. I have lived through them and emerged as a braver person than I was today.
Yes, we all can't help falling prey at times and be absorbed by them but we must fight this. Reliving the same time over and over again is injustice to ourselves and disrespect to this perfect creation of the Lord that has been crafted for us to relish every moment.

All I want to say through this article is, chuck all the memories that torment you. Live everything as it comes and only when it prevails. Laugh a little louder and smile more often. Each sunset is beautiful or gloomy, depending on how you want to see it. Set a goal at every sunrise to make the day worth your precious time. Thank God and people around you who made your day amazing. Let the things come as they do but let them go as they do as well.

With this thought (and hopefully a smile on your face), until you open any other blogpost, its me, signing off.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Does this mean that one has to accept the pain everytime the darkness engulfs at the end of day?

- Ryuk

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